Friday, 01 April 2005

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    Bloodrock
    By Bloodrock
    DOA
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    AliasUndercover has determined that it is time to lighten up, so this entry will cover the lighter side of death.  For your enlightenment and, as a public service, AU Inc.™  has compiled the following useful list of good and bad ways to die.

    The top 5 bad ways to die:

    5)  Being tortured to death like William Wallace, but instead of yelling "Freedom!!" with your dying breath, your pain-addled brain yells something like "My Little Pony®!" or "The. Veal. Parmesan. Is. In. My. Wallet!"
    4)  Africanized Killer Bees
    3)  Dressed in lingerie (if you're a man)/ With your shoes and purse clashing (if you're a woman)
    2)  SWAT team
    1)  April Fool's prank gone horribly wrong

    The top 5 best ways to die:

    5)  Peacefully in your sleep after you've given away all of your money.
    4)  "YOUR HEAD S-PLODE!"
    3)  After a stupid prank, but your last words are, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
    2)  With the bodies of your slain enemies piled about you (like William Travis in John Wayne's 'The Alamo' or Boromir in 'Fellowship of the Ring')
    1)  Martyred like Jesus or Stephen and your last words are, "Father forgive them..."

Comments (10)

  • Sealer04

    Extra Good Ways to Die-After Video Game Armegeddon, Jumping infront of the bullet to save The President/Child/Defenseless person, Setting off the Nuke in Space that saves the world.

    Extra bad Way to Die- Before Video Game Armegeddon, 'Well, no, I'm not on the bomb squad, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express', 'Well, Mr. bond, I have good news and bad news.  The bad news is we are skipping the elaborite death sequence and just shoot you.  The good news is I just took over Geiko and now I alone will save on car insurance.'
  • biscuitking
    STOP USING VIDEO GAMES AS A EUPHAMISM!
  • dixiedydo
    Dixie's bottom 3 ways to "go"

    1.) Fire ants. They sting you until you are paralyzed then they eat your flesh as you CAN'T writhe in pain- you are paralyzed.

    2.) Burning.

    3.) Looking over and seeing a man dressed just like you (if you are a woman). No wait. Planning the day where you and your beloved are intentionally going to dress alike, seeing each other across campus and realizing what ridiculous you most look to the rest of the known world, slinking across to a darkened Pizza Inn and drinking a sorcerers potion in a love-pact.
  • dixiedydo
    I apologize to all of AU's many admirers for #3 on my comment. And to my one fan, Greggo. So sorry.
  • AliasUndercover

    I had NO IDEA how bad death could be!  Thanks for the enlightement Ms. Dydo *wonders if this is a competition*

    note to Sealer - very funny!
  • anonymous
    I want to be crushed by the Monty Python foot.
  • AlphaBlogger
    Oh Lord, bless this, thy Holy Handgrenade, that with it, thou mayest bloweth thine enemy into tiny pieces - In thy Mercy.
  • AliasUndercover
    Three is the number thou shalt count and the number of thy counting shall be three.
    Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, unless then proceeding to three.
    Five is right out...
  • DrBoogie
    One of the strangest I've heard was this guy was found dead in the middle a burntout forrest in Calif fully dressed in scuba gear.   They finally figured out he got scooped up by one of the Firefighting Helicopters and dropped to his death. 
  • Far_Skies

    My death will most likely be something like number 3 and 4 of the best ways to die... but reversed.

     "Hey y'all, watch this!" ..... "YOUR HEAD S-PLODE!"

    lol


     

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